I Crave Authenticity
And Some Don’t Understand My Urgency
Being Who They Are
One thing I love about animals, is that they are unapologetically themselves. Some might say, they are just acting instinctively and aren’t capable of doing otherwise, as if that’s a failing.
I’ve studied wild animals like elephants, as well as so called “farm” animals. I say every day that humans could learn so much from them, if only they watched and listened. Animals have a voice, and humans should pay more attention.
Being Called Too Sensitive
Throughout my life I’ve been accused of being “too much”, “dramatic”, “extreme” and “high maintenance” by some. It took till my early 50s to be diagnosed as neurodivergent then autistic. Previously, I’d been viewed by professionals via a mental health lens.
According to Dr Gabor Maté, the only choice of the infant, completely dependent on a caregiver, is to be stop being themselves if their needs aren’t met. They must be attached to an adult to survive, so they give up authenticity and are traumatised. Traumatised because of the good things that didn’t happen to them.
When older, if being our authentic selves is met with judgement, we can choose whether to walk away and perhaps risk losing the attachment, or to mask who we are, retaining the relationship.
The Consequences
The mind and body are inextricably linked. Suppressing who we are can cause both mental and physical suffering. There is a strong link between inflammation, autoimmune conditions and not living as our authentic selves.
Capitalism and the growth of the right wing, encourages distance from a connection with nature and healing. Indigenous peoples and their ways are denigrated and exterminated all over the world. The planet is at great risk, and therefore so is humans’ relationship to it.
We pay a great price if we cannot find ways to nurture ourselves. Self care is so much more than navel gazing, in a world where a genocide of the Palestinian people is allowed to continue by world powers. We all suffer as human beings to know this is how those with power operate.
Wearing A Mask
I had no idea that hiding who I was and my later autistic diagnosis were one and the same thing. Very few people have ever been let in to all areas of my life. Masking is a survival mechanism and not usually a choice.
A good therapeutic relationship is one way we can experience someone knowing us without judgment and enforced self separation. This is a reason therapy has always been necessary for me. From the other side, I witness how powerfully healing that can be for clients. Active listening is not something everyone has experienced.
Animals Are Mindful
Humans can benefit from paying greater attention to animals. Whether it’s something animals consciously choose or not, humans can. Grounding exercises are a good way of being in the here and now.
Things you can try to help. Look around, name 5 objects you can see in your environment. Say them to yourself slowly.
Next, name something you can smell, something you can see, something you can hear, and something you can touch within reach.
Practicing these two exercises morning and night, means you are using mindfulness. Consistency is the key to this being helpful.
When mindful, we are not focusing on the past or future, but we are in the moment. We are not lost.
A Distracting World
Non-Human Animals don’t need to use grounding exercises, they are always themselves, always in the moment. Human Animals have to work hard to retain their true selves, because anyone with differences has been judged.
Pigs and elephants don’t need to have these discussions.
